Fragment -- #58

[2/98] A key difference between C. S. Lewis and me (not to speak of numerous obvious differences!) is that I went through the trauma (spiritually and theologically) of a spouse’s chronic/degrading illness/death before and then simultaneous with my graduate education and subsequent thought formation whereas Lewis developed his thought and became ‘larger than life’ via his writings before his experience with his cancer-inflicted wife revealed to him the ‘house of cards’ weakness of his by then internationally acclaimed thought. (The writings that had made Lewis an anchor for faith for so many around the world – e.g., Mere Christianity, Miracles, The Problem of Pain, . . . – were written before Lewis married Joy Gresham in 1956. Her health was failing when they married. She died of cancer four years later. Lewis died in 1963.) His A Grief Observed – in which he admitted the hollowness of the views he brought to the experience of his wife’s illness/death -- is, for me, his most helpful writing. He had little to say after his wife died. (Question -- What effect did his World War I experiences as a soldier have on him?) I continue very intentionally to add to the initial experience with tragedy in my first wife’s illness/death (e.g., Down syndrome victims as with Ginny Elkins, Charity Hospital patients, abused children at K-Bar-B, cancer patients, University of Miami/Overtown cocaine-abusing women, Appalachia poverty, . . .). One consequence is my hesitancy to share with others my thoughts/views.