[February 2000 journal entry]
Though in certain ways I was a ‘child of the 60s’ re resistance to established institutions (as much as was possible in the rural western Kentucky small town in which I was raised), my aim/goal eventually became centered on being truly present with individuals with whom it is very difficult and existentially dangerous to be truly present. Initially, this resolve took a very personal and concrete form – i.e., being truly present with my first wife (d. 1987) in her struggle with multiple sclerosis. However, in time she and that experience brought light/attention for me on the breadth/depth of human suffering. I have never recovered (in the sense of being peaceful) from this realization. It is from this perspective/angle that the ideas and propositions I have to offer have been and continue to be crafted/tested. One consequence/cost has been that I have become an ‘outsider’ to societal spheres, being left with ‘guest’ rather than ‘member’ privileges. This consequence/cost leaves me wondering if these ideas and propositions have circulation potential inside societal spheres or only for other ‘outsiders’. I think the answer may be a selective ‘yes’ re inside circulation. But I do not take this for granted, nor do I assume such communication is simple.
Though in certain ways I was a ‘child of the 60s’ re resistance to established institutions (as much as was possible in the rural western Kentucky small town in which I was raised), my aim/goal eventually became centered on being truly present with individuals with whom it is very difficult and existentially dangerous to be truly present. Initially, this resolve took a very personal and concrete form – i.e., being truly present with my first wife (d. 1987) in her struggle with multiple sclerosis. However, in time she and that experience brought light/attention for me on the breadth/depth of human suffering. I have never recovered (in the sense of being peaceful) from this realization. It is from this perspective/angle that the ideas and propositions I have to offer have been and continue to be crafted/tested. One consequence/cost has been that I have become an ‘outsider’ to societal spheres, being left with ‘guest’ rather than ‘member’ privileges. This consequence/cost leaves me wondering if these ideas and propositions have circulation potential inside societal spheres or only for other ‘outsiders’. I think the answer may be a selective ‘yes’ re inside circulation. But I do not take this for granted, nor do I assume such communication is simple.
