[April 2004 journal entry]
For many years, the utility pole climbers I recall from my youth -- who, trusting their security belts, had to turn loose of and lean back from the pole in order to work -- have been my image of ‘trust’. The trust they placed in their security belts -- unconditional, everything at risk -- illustrates one end of a spectrum. To trust unconditionally is to be completely at ease, completely free of distraction, completely exposed, completely vulnerable. Complete distrust stands at the opposite end of the spectrum. At some point across the spectrum, the paradigm switches from ‘trust’ to ‘distrust’, with numerous gradations on either side of the threshold. We begin life very (completely?) trusting. We soon experience betrayals and disappointments (some playful, some malicious) that teach us to test, whenever possible, before trusting. Once betrayal/disappointment occurs or trust fails, forgiveness is possible. However, lost trust may never be recovered and perhaps only in obligatory relationships (e.g., marriage, parent-child, co-worker).
