[September 2004 journal entry]
In a recent conversation with a high school teacher/friend, he offered some reflections on the several months from summer 2002 through spring 2003 during which we met regularly (e.g., conversations about Bonhoeffer, ‘religion’, integrity, existentialism, . . .) and the past five months during which he stepped back from our meeting together. He mentioned a ‘mentoring’ relationship he had had with an individual several years ago that became very one-sided and threatening to him. He suggested that his hesitancy/caution after that experience had made him nervous and, in a sense, competitive or defensive at times during our conversations. He indicated a readiness to return to our conversations. I repeated my intent that he (and anyone else with whom I have serious conversation) understands he “sits next to the door” (i.e., he always has liberty to manage/frame/exit the conversation/s). We then discussed his use of ‘mentor’ to categorize our relationship. I offered the theatre-based ‘prompter’ metaphor as an alternative. ‘Prompter’ seems the more modest of the two images. I illustrated the distinction with my relationship to Bonhoeffer’s life/thought. Bonhoeffer’s influence on me had much to do with ‘mentoring’ through the ‘imprisoning’ three years I experienced with my first wife before her death (d. 1987). As my experience eventually passed beyond Bonhoeffer’s experience (e.g., the afterward decisions about the place/value of the ‘imprisoning’ years, the experience of being married, the experience of being a parent, the experience of resigning a place within the ‘religious’ sphere, . . .), Bonhoeffer diminished as a ‘mentor’, but enlarged as a ‘prompter’ (and as a ‘friend’). He thus remains in a singular position in my vision as I continue on a ‘non-religious’ and ‘with the world face to face’ path re ethics and spirituality.
