Re the ‘fork in the road’ I faced after my first wife’s death (d. 1987) – one direction led back into the conventions of societal spheres (including but not limited to the ‘religious’ sphere) and the other direction pointed into unmarked territory beyond the boundaries/norms of societal spheres. The ‘radical’ (i.e., to the root) impact of her illness and death left me with only one choice I could make with integrity – i.e., into the unmarked territory. One reason I have been wrestling so intensely with the ideas tracked in these journal entries has had to do with leading my family and with parenting minus knowing where we have been headed.