[August 2006 journal entry]
I spent another few days with Renate Bethge a few weeks ago. The many hours of conversation with the Bethges since our friendship began in 1993 have deeply enriched my search for a ‘non-religious’ approach to spirituality and ethics by/through which to be ‘with the world face to face’. I think often of Dietrich’s observation that “the mind’s hunger for discussion is much more tormenting than the body’s hunger for food” (25 December 1943 prison letter to Eberhard and Renate). Had Dietrich survived the descent ‘below’ as a prisoner in the brutal grip of the Gestapo, I have often wondered -- Who would have been his most cherished conversation partners if/as he continued to think through and live out the radical (i.e., into the root) ideas he anticipated in the December 1942 ‘Ten Years Later’ essay and began to see/consider in prison? No doubt many individuals would have drawn near to Dietrich, would have crowded around him. They could have satisfied some of his ‘hunger for discussion’. But I can imagine only a few who could/would have stayed in meaningful conversation with him if/as he strained to keep ‘seeing from below’. Eberhard and Renate, given their having been addressed by Dietrich in the smuggled prison correspondence, would already have been familiar with the cutting edge of Dietrich’s thought/life. Dietrich’s father (religiously/theologically agnostic), given his professional familiarity with the disturbing and in some cases bizarre psychiatric agony of his patients, could have deepened Dietrich’s experiences ‘seeing from below’ by placing such experiences within the larger context of tragic human suffering. Dietrich’s brother Karl Friedrich (also religiously/theologically agnostic), given his expertise in modern physics and given their longstanding mutual respect, could have prompted Dietrich’s resolve to become more firmly grounded in the scientific method/disciplines. Unfortunately, a new acquaintance in prison -- ‘Herr Engel’ -- would not have been there. He was killed in the 27 January 1944 bombing. Dietrich wrote of him to Eberhard (29/30 January 1944 prison letter) –
I am sorry to say that I suffered a severe loss the night before last. The man who was, to my mind, by far the most intelligent and attractive in the place was killed in the city by a direct hit. I should certainly have put him in touch with you later, and we already had plans for the future. We often had interesting talks, and the other day he brought me Daumier und die Justiz, which I still have. He was a really educated man of working-class origin, a philosopher, and father of three children. I was very much distressed by his death.
I know Dietrich’s craving for meaningful conversation. I began to realize several years ago that, the further I existentially travel on a ‘non-religious’ path by/through which to be(come) ‘with the world face to face’, the fewer and fewer my conversation partners become. I cherish each one who comes near. Since 2000 I have recorded detailed notes after each such conversation. When I am alone and the longing for meaningful conversation is especially acute, the recollections awakened by turning to these conversations as reconstructed in my notes bring relief and encouragement.