[October 2004 journal entry]
This past Tuesday evening, I learned my friend Charles had died that afternoon of a heart attack. Later in the evening, I spoke with Charles’ middle daughter who conveyed the family’s request that I give one of the eulogies during the funeral. Charles’ death has led me to think back across the nearly three decades since our friendship took such special form during my years in Louisville when I was a searching doctoral student. Charles – a highly respected lawyer who had remained in a small practice with his father to protect his professional freedom -- took me on as a project, I think. He was the first adult I knew well who had a wide-angle view of ‘the world’, who respected the complex textures of ‘the world’, who relished being in ‘the world’. On the eve of my departure in 1979 from Louisville to fill a graduate faculty position, Charles and I had a ‘David and Jonathan’ moment together. We looked back. We speculated about the future. We exchanged symbols of our friendship. I gave him a paperweight he kept on his desk all these years. The paperweight (which I now have) has the inscription – “The soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David. And Jonathan loved David as his own soul”. He gave me the replica of a turtle that has been on my desk now for twenty-five years. That turtle was his parting counsel to survive, to persevere, to know when to take shelter, and “to never let them see your hands sweating”. During the days since Charles’ death, I have again placed our friendship alongside the David and Jonathan story in Jewish scripture. The paperweight inscription comes in the story just after David defeats Goliath. King Saul prohibits David’s return to his home and instead virtually adopts him into the royal court. These are heady years for the young shepherd boy turned military legend. David and Jonathan – the king’s son -- share a vision of their ruling together, with Jonathan at David’s side. For this and other reasons (including symptoms hinting at psychiatric disorder), Saul turns against David. Jonathan finds himself in the dilemma of attempting to remain true to his friend and to his father. David eventually flees into the wilderness as a hunted/marked fugitive charged by Saul with treason. He lives among the Philistines. The story includes one brief meeting between David and Jonathan. Jonathan repeats their vision of ruling together, with Jonathan at David’s side. Otherwise, they live on in very different settings. Jonathan dies with his father in battle at the hands of the Philistines. David had offered to fight with the Philistines, but had been turned away by military commanders who questioned his trustworthiness in fighting against the Israelites. Among the speculations set up by the story – What if David had fought with the Philistines in the battle and faced Jonathan? What if Jonathan had survived the battle and come to David with the vision of ruling together?