[July 2000 journal entry]
In a recent conversation with my new artist/theatre friend Dean, he asked me to explain my use of the ‘wilderness’ metaphor. Among the reflections I shared with Dean were – (1) the centrality of silence/solitude, (2) being in natural (rather than artificial) surroundings, (3) the necessity of simplicity, (4) the absence of conventional societal spheres, (5) the necessity to be self-reliant, (6) the dangers, (7) the pressure to concentrate, (8) the importance of imagination, (9) . . . .
‘Wilderness’ experiences may come suddenly/abruptly. They may not. ‘Wilderness’ experiences may be entered willingly. They may not. ‘Wilderness’ experiences may be entered naively. They may not. ‘Wilderness’ experiences may become home. They may not.
For me, the transition from a sense of place within societal spheres to the existential isolation of the ‘wilderness’ was gradual enough to adjust to living without the assumptions and props of the various societal spheres within which I was raised and continued to live until several years into my first wife’s illness. Perhaps this gradualness is the reason I did not think of ‘terror’ (as did Dean) when explaining to him my use of the ‘wilderness’ metaphor. He proposed that I had been a bit naïve in hoping/striving for some radically different direction to be possible within the ‘religious’ sphere. I told him that, looking back, I agree. It took me so long to get past this naiveté for several reasons, not the least of which was my awareness that to act consistently would leave an unbridgeable chasm between me and those closest to me.
In a recent conversation with my new artist/theatre friend Dean, he asked me to explain my use of the ‘wilderness’ metaphor. Among the reflections I shared with Dean were – (1) the centrality of silence/solitude, (2) being in natural (rather than artificial) surroundings, (3) the necessity of simplicity, (4) the absence of conventional societal spheres, (5) the necessity to be self-reliant, (6) the dangers, (7) the pressure to concentrate, (8) the importance of imagination, (9) . . . .
‘Wilderness’ experiences may come suddenly/abruptly. They may not. ‘Wilderness’ experiences may be entered willingly. They may not. ‘Wilderness’ experiences may be entered naively. They may not. ‘Wilderness’ experiences may become home. They may not.
For me, the transition from a sense of place within societal spheres to the existential isolation of the ‘wilderness’ was gradual enough to adjust to living without the assumptions and props of the various societal spheres within which I was raised and continued to live until several years into my first wife’s illness. Perhaps this gradualness is the reason I did not think of ‘terror’ (as did Dean) when explaining to him my use of the ‘wilderness’ metaphor. He proposed that I had been a bit naïve in hoping/striving for some radically different direction to be possible within the ‘religious’ sphere. I told him that, looking back, I agree. It took me so long to get past this naiveté for several reasons, not the least of which was my awareness that to act consistently would leave an unbridgeable chasm between me and those closest to me.
