[11/1996 journal entry] As the ‘religious’ paradigm failed for me, I found all that remained was my resolve to ‘hold to my integrity’ (the reason the story/play Job rings true to me). My concepts/images of ‘Jesus’ died too (as I had seen/considered him within the ‘religious’ sphere). I eventually came to a point where I saw ‘Jesus’ -- apart from the assumptions/interpretations of him within the ‘religious’ sphere -- as having maintained his integrity. Thereby, I found what I consider a ‘non-religious’ way to respect (i.e., to look back at, to look again at) him that in turn has become my experience/idea of discipleship.
[Note: I remain cautious re see(k)ing a historical ‘Jesus’ in the four Gospels. As ‘a historian first, theologian second’, I approach these texts with the same historiographical caution/rigor I bring to any other text. Attempting to be ‘with the world face to face’ and to ‘see from below’, I carefully critique ‘Jesus’ as I do any other potential thinker/teacher. This journal entry indicates I had concluded that ‘religion’ is the reverse on both counts. With theological assumptions constraining/discrediting historical inquiry, much more in the ‘religious’ sphere can be taken as historically credible in the four Gospels than I take to be historically credible. And the longing in the ‘religious’ sphere to be ‘face to face with Christ my savior’ (to quote a beloved hymn from my childhood) precedes/trumps/filters how the ‘world’ is seen/experienced.]
[Note: I remain cautious re see(k)ing a historical ‘Jesus’ in the four Gospels. As ‘a historian first, theologian second’, I approach these texts with the same historiographical caution/rigor I bring to any other text. Attempting to be ‘with the world face to face’ and to ‘see from below’, I carefully critique ‘Jesus’ as I do any other potential thinker/teacher. This journal entry indicates I had concluded that ‘religion’ is the reverse on both counts. With theological assumptions constraining/discrediting historical inquiry, much more in the ‘religious’ sphere can be taken as historically credible in the four Gospels than I take to be historically credible. And the longing in the ‘religious’ sphere to be ‘face to face with Christ my savior’ (to quote a beloved hymn from my childhood) precedes/trumps/filters how the ‘world’ is seen/experienced.]
