[April 2004 journal entry]
I realize now more than I did 20+ years ago that my ‘non-religious’ and ‘with the world face to face’ path is very far from the shore or the marked paths desired/preferred by most individuals and characteristic of most ideas. I regret putting more stress (than I or they anticipated in our mutual understanding) on persons I trusted unconditionally who finally broke under that stress. I did not foresee the painful consequences. I do not regret putting stress on any idea that has resulted in the collapse of the idea. I eventually came to the conclusion that it is necessary to relieve relatives and friends of feeling trapped in a relationship with me as I continue on a ‘non-religious’/‘from the scrapheap’/‘from below’/‘with the world face to face’ path once they realize how many standard deviations from the mean this path makes/takes one. They may choose to remain near. I want them to be able to step back without guilt. The unrealistic expectations the ‘scrapheap’ Job had re his three close friends illustrates the undesirable and damaging consequences of not taking this approach.
